Why I Will Be Wearing Nothing But Resort Wear To The Office This Summer
Summer resort style and its marketing tells a story reminiscent of a fairytale. Office practicality while purchasing is never at the forefront of your mind because you picture yourself yachting over crystal clear waters, sunning in East Hampton or gallivanting around the city with nothing more than a slight sheen of dewy perspiration gracing your skin like sweet butterfly kisses.
Why take into account the sweltering work commute, hair fro humidity and deluge of sweat accumulating into a puddle that even Narcissus wouldn’t want to pretend is there? Fiction is always better than reality and besides, you need to justify the hefty price tag on that sweet caftan you’re checking out.
I say let’s throw practicality to the wolves (or interns, which are arguably more ravenous) and wear whatever the hell we want to the office this summer. I know I’m lucky in that I work in a creative field and the rules are somewhat more lax than in the banks I troll for finance bros, but this is America. Land of the free and #LeaningIn.
Why not wear….
A brightly printed sheath in honor of a catered pizza lunch? That is a worthy celebration in itself and the silhouette should effectively cover the food baby.
A tennis dress for a conference call? It’ll remind you of your grace and poise during tennis camp, where you were miserable at the sport but was effectively hitting on the counselors at a disturbingly young age.
A silk nautical-themed scarf for #ThirstyThursday? It won’t be tied around windswept hair during a happy hour boat cruise, but rather around your neck to cover up your low-cut dress. Which will promptly be revealed as soon as you step out of the office and into a bar.
A sumptuous maxi dress for a budget meeting? Its silky texture won’t be complementing the chaise lounges you drape yourself over while sipping a daiquiri, but rather protecting your legs from the air conditioning.
A see-through tunic on Monday? You’ll just have to pick it up off the floor where you flung it on Sunday after spending most of the weekend in a sangria-induced haze. Just remember to layer it with a camisole instead of a bikini this time!
A romper or jumpsuit layered with a blazer or cardigan during the mid-week slump? It’ll be like your little secret — that underneath it all you’re wearing a fun one piece! Kind of like that time you dumped whiskey into your coffee, but without all the resulting typos!
A light cashmere sweater at the slightest sign of chill? So what if he broke up with you? You can still appreciate the finer things in life. Godammit Jim. Godammnit.
A seersucker suit for the big meeting? You can pretend you’re Colonel Sanders! Such a confidence booster!