An Open Letter to My Summer School “Professors”

Today is a great day.  Why?  Because I have come to the end of my six-week trek through hell that is known as summer classes.  After taking my final exams, I wanted to write an open letter from the heart to each of my “professors…

“Professor” 1:

Where do I begin?  In some respects I feel sorry for you.  Why your department thought it was prudent to have a non-Enlish speaking GRADUATE student teach a course is beyond me, but I guess that explains the GWU “Raise High” mantra…#Rai$eHigh those standards!  While you’re not entirely at fault for over half the class failing the course, if you can walk away feeling that you did your best…well…you my dear are tragically out-of-touch with reality (more so than me…and THAT’S saying something).  My open letter to you is certainly from the point of view of frustration and as I near the end, I feel much better…(yay therapy).  While my obligations to your class are formally over, I can guarantee that you’ll be hearing from me once I’m back on campus from my two-week reprieve.  I’ve already sent an e-mail to the entire class who will be writing grievance letters to the head of your department.  Talk soon, love!

Professor 2:

You are quite possibly one of GWU’s worst.  It must be nice to know that the only way you could ever get fired is through committing a felony…yay tenure!  Your total lack of care is really quite astounding.  How you think it’s ok to have three tests over concepts that have never been mentioned in class is really infuriating and outright disgusting.  I feel you’re an interesting person at heart, but the words that are produced by your racist tongue are not only uncomfortable, but terribly offensive.  I feel sorry for any student that has to have you with the biggest sympathy going out to those that haven’t realized that you pull every answer to your examinations from a test bank that’s available online for download.  As messed up as it sounds, I think the whole thing is quite comical.  Why?  Because these tests are the pinnacle example of your lazinesses…it’s amazing I was able to remember all of those answers (I can barely remember my social security number), but since you copy and pasted (instead of altering the numerical order) it made it pretty easy from my end.  I thank God I’ll never have to be in one of your classes and hope someone at this university takes a read at your student evaluations and comes to their senses that it’s time for you to go.  I wrote a long-winded one and signed my name at the bottom because anonymity was something that was so 2013 for me…

Professor 3:

You’re my last open letter.  I enjoyed your class.  A lot actually.  You’re definitely not the most…passionate…person in the world, but you know your subject and I appreciate all the real-world examples you brought to class everyday.  It was interesting to debate different view points and see things from a different lens.  I know a lot of people didn’t always come to class (this is why you need an attendance policy my friend!), but I did try to come as often as I could even though it conflicted with DC happy hours.  I know you don’t teach during the normal semesters, but I wish you would because I think the GW student body needs a solid professor during the year.  As you can see above, good teaching is something that is the furthest from abundant at this school.  So thanks for putting in an effort and actually giving a care – it was refreshing!

And with that I end my open letters to my professors.  The past six weeks have been miserable, but – as I write this from the comfort of my bedroom that I haven’t been in since March – it’s nice to have everything behind me.

PS:  Not ALL GWU classes are like this…there’s always one exception!  More about that here

Happy weekending everyone!

-Dean

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